Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Dear Random Naked White Guy...

The issue is not being naked, it's the perception of that nakedness. ~Unknown

Dear Random Naked White Guy,

You swam up to me while on the topless beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. That is a no-no as it goes against nudist etiquette. When I asked where you were from and you said Virginia, I knew there was going to be a problem. After many attempts at small talk, you finally asked me if I wanted a massage. After a vehement, "No," you asked if I wanted to go for a swim.  (SERIOUSLY?!) I responded that I was headed to dinner. At this, you bid me a great rest of my vacation and swam away.

No bubbling brown sugar for you,


See, this is why Americans should be banned from topless/nude beaches. They fail to see nudity and sex as two different entities. I never felt threatened or uncomfortable because I was submersed in the water and there was a security guard and other people around. It was just irritating to have my peace disturbed by this idiot. Oh! And then there was the guy who came down with this girlfriend who initially started off facing the ocean. It didn't take long before he'd shifted around and was facing me, at which point I covered myself. She whisked him away soon thereafter. I guess she hadn't anticipated he'd be trying to peek at others' tatas. Americans! LOL!

I discovered nudist beaches in western Europe a few years ago and have been a fan ever since. I was too excited (and surprised) there was one in MoBay. (They obviously have dealt with (idiot) Americans before because unlike other beaches I've visited, this one had female security. This shouldn't have to be.) The sun's rays and warm ocean water on my skin was sheer heaven! I wish we had a mainstream naturist mentality here is the US. Alas, I can only taken advantage when I travel. I'll take it.

Sunning Topless in Montego Bay Jamaica

Jerolim beach on Hvar island in Croatia

Labels: , , ,