Crying a Dam in Amsterdam

Upon exiting Amsterdam at the airport, immigration control caught that I didn't have a stamp permitting entrance to the mainland and questioned me about it. I explained to them that when we got off the ferry from London, passport control simply waved us through without checking. (I guess someone didn't want to venture out of their booth at 2AM on a cold, rainy night.) I knew this was unusual because it has been my experience that countries are almost fanatical about checking passports, especially since 9/11. That's why I had to get a new passport before this trip because my old one was nearly full and you can't travel to some countries without a certain amount of space left for stamps. (Passport stamps are like notches on my belt, so I spent a day in Brussels trying to track down the correct office to get one. I was sent to three different places, but couldn't get help at either one. In the end I had to concede I wouldn't have a Belgian stamp. They also didn't check when I entered the Netherlands, so no stamp from there either.)

When it was time to get on my flight back to the US, passport control wanted proof of when I'd entered the mainland. I explained the situation about being waved through, running around trying to get a stamp in Brussels, and being disappointed that my passport book only shows England as I didn't have a stamp for the Netherlands, either. He told me no problem. I just needed a 'correction stamp' and I'd be on my way. He even said I could get stamps for both countries. He waved an officer over and I got a sinking feeling. I thought he'd be able to do that on the spot. I asked now long this would take. I had a flight to catch and they were closing the doors in about 45 mins and I still hadn't cleared security. The officer's response was it was of no great concern to him. Aw, junk! Why did he have to say that?

When I got to the waiting room, there were several people in the same predicament. After a few minutes the officer asked me if I had proof I'd been where I said I'd been. I thought this was unusual because who keeps up with ticket stubs on extensive travel? Normally, I don't, but I did in this case because I had a niggling feeling about not getting that passport stamp back in Belgium. (I don't know how I knew, but I have learned during my time on this earth to trust my gut without question.) I eagerly said yes and readily pulled them out of my bag. After a I while, I noticed the people who were in the waiting room when I arrived were gone and new arrivals had come and gone. I asked the officer if I'd be much longer and he said he was very busy. I politely pointed out that other people have come and gone WITHOUT PROOF of where they'd been and here I am with travel receipts, yet I'm still sitting. He said every case is different. I would've bought that except whenever they asked someone if they had proof, they simply said no and the officer would reassure them it's okay and give them the precious correction stamp.

Time was ticking and I quickly began to assess my options. There's only one flight a day back to the States, so catching a later flight was not an option. Missing this one meant I'd have to pay to go back to the city center, manage to find a room at the last minute during high travel season over a weekend (and during the Olympics), with no guarantee of available seating on a flight out the next day. Visions of being stuck an additional week in Rome last summer due to a canceled and subsequent full flights came back to haunt me. It may sound fun, but not when you're all traveled out and ready to go home having spent the last of your euros. Sitting and being patient wasn't working. Getting indignant and demanding they hurry it up could possibly get me thrown in jail (where my only phone call may be to the US embassy). I decided to go with being annoying hoping it would bother them enough to want me out of there as quickly as possible. I asked again how much longer in a most-irritating whiny voice. People hate that voice. They simply told me they were working on it. I walked out to check how long the security line was. An officer came after me demanding I stay put. I whined again about the status. He said my asking would only take longer. I heard him mutter something about one hour. I panicked. I was convinced these people were determined that I miss my flight. I watched another couple of people come and go without showing proof and be on their way within the 2 minutes the officer promised. I asked if that officer could work on my passport because he was fast. That earned me a nasty glare. Okay. Annoying wasn't working.

Determined not to miss my flight, I decided to rely on what every little girl learns early on. Men have a weakness for tears. Thing is, I'm not a crier ('cause ain' no punk). How do actors do it? I tried to think of something sad. When dying puppies couldn't do the trick, it became apparent I'd have to fake it. How could I fake something I detest so much? Could I be convincing enough? I looked at my watch. I had to make a go of it. I asked one more time about the status of my passport that would allow me to leave the country and return home and was told they were still working on it. That's when I started bawling. It worked! One, two, THREE officers came flying into the room and told me to calm down. They assured me I wouldn't miss my flight. One of them was not so sympathetic. He gruffly told me it's not the end of the world and to stop crying and asked me what I would do if it was the end of the world. I started bawling louder. I cried, "I just wanted to go home and it's not my fault they waved us through without stamping my passport and the border people should be fired for not doing their jobs and I'd tried to get a stamp in Belgium and now I'm going to miss my flight and I just want to go HOOOOOMMME!" There was this little girl looking at me unmoved because I bet she knew a little something about fake crying. I had no tears and I kept my face covered with my hands. Just when they thought I couldn't get any louder, I did. I guess that was the last straw because an officer hurried into the room with my passport. The mean, gruff one shoved it into my hands and angrily shouted they were done with me (Um, thanks), I would NOT be getting a Belgium stamp (Bioch, do you really think I care at this point?), and I should get a life (I will...in America). I almost blew my cover because I brightened up immediately. I had to remind myself to do the little follow-up sniffles. However, I couldn't help the skip in my step as I sailed out of there toward the security check or the huge smile on my face as I stepped in line.


I made it to the gate just as my flight was boarding.